Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Talking with Jordan

Today was full of tears for me (Tristan). I woke up sad and just couldn't shake it all day. We had a phone appointment with Laura, the animal communicator. Disclosure here: we have spoken with our pets through this animal communicator for about 5 years. She has told us some uncanny things, and we choose to believe that she can communicate with our pets and the information she gives us is helpful. The last time we spoke, about 4 weeks ago, Jordan told us that her stomach was feeling much better since we started cooking for her. But, like the call before that, she did not seem ready to die; in fact, she said she felt better overall since we changed her diet and added supplements and homeopathic remedies. Today, things were different. She described her body as a "broken clock," and said she was not happy or enjoying life. She described her grand mal seizure from 2 weeks ago, and the description she gave Laura sounded like a near-death experience. She told Laura it was clear that Colten and I were very upset, but that she was ready to go to dog heaven. She just wants to feel better. She said she enjoyed her visit to the cows and she felt like she had pretty much done everything she wanted to in her life. She did say she'd like to go to the beach. Not a surprise, since she's been to the beach with us many times and used to love to swim. So, we've decided to make a spontaneous trip to the beach tomorrow. I just felt so much grief today, and it would not stop washing over me. Jordan's impending death is bringing up lots of issues for me around the death of loved ones, specifically my father. I know that we are doing the right thing for her, but it doesn't stop the sadness from feeling totally overwhelming. Colten was determined to get us all out of the house, so we finally got in the car and headed to our local park with Jordan and Reggie Love. We decided to leave Harley at home to hold down the fort. Jordan walked around a little and did not immediately begin circling, as she often does at home, so that was a pleasant surprise. Then she laid down on the blanket with me, and Colten took some photos.

4 comments:

  1. I know you don't know me, but I wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and your family. I've had friends who've had to make this kind of decision before and it's never an easy one, even if you're fairly sure that it's the best for your pet. Hugs and love to you and yours.

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  2. Dear Friends, I am Lorna's friend here in YS, Deann. I feel great love for you all. What you are doing with and for Jordan is the most loving thing and the hardest thing. Jordan is giving you the gift of revisiting your own feelings about death so you can resolve them or not. You get to choose whether to seek resolution. For Jordan, things will change in the blink of an eye and she will be totally well again. For you, things will change in the blink of an eye and you will face the stages of grief without Jordan's physical being. She will come near to you in spirit once you have journeyed through the grief for she will not truly leave you. She will be as close as your next breath. The other dogs will likely sense her presence long before you do. Jordan has had a fantastic life because of you. She will be loyal to you and love you forever. Know that there are distant friends sending you the love and light to move through what is ahead for Jordan and both of you.

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  3. Hey guys,

    I'm reading and following your stories, and sending as much love and comfort as possible...

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